Love has since disappeared in so many marriages leaving the couples hanging on other elements/factors in their marriages. As they hang on, they go through untold physical and emotional trauma occasioned by abuse and which some times culminate into death. Millions of those who do not care about these other factors such as family, children, culture and creed have since thrown in the towel. Some are divorced while others are separated. Some are separated for a while, others are separated permanently. Continue reading
As the race to grab political powers in 2019 general elections gathers momentum, it is imperative on all of us to understand that we are all responsible for who becomes our next leader. We are all involved either by commission or omission. We must understand first and foremost that those justling for political offices are doing so for their selfish interests. When they finally grab these powers, they do not punish us because it’s their hobby but because they are only interested in achieving their selfish motives. I point this out so you do not become naïve enough to believe their campaign promises and get disappointed afterwards but for you to develop a participatory mechanism and mindset to hold them accountable for such promises. The new order should be to give every politician a run for his/her promises irrespective of his/her ethnic or party affiliations. Continue reading
The year has finally begun; it’s gonna be a very tough year. It’s not the usual hardship occasioned by the bustling and hustling of the city but an unprecedented form of hardship that’ll affect every single aspect of our lives-career, family and eveñ personal relationships. Everything is gonna be more difficult, prices of fuel and other commodities will go up. It’ll be more difficult to secure jobs and contracts. Anger and depression will rise resulting to more rancour in families and more tension in different offices. The struggle to make it will rise resulting to increase in population in the city, increase in crime and infrastructural deficit. Continue reading
Josh Billings once said:
Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough.
In the few years I’ve spent in this world I’ve got a lot of people say yes to me and their yes eventually turned out to be no. I’ve also said yes to many people but eventually could not fulfill my promise. Why do people say yes when they should actually say no? The common reason is that we all erroneously believe that saying yes is a sign of respect for someone who is older or who is in charge. We also believe that saying no could harm someone’s feelings and because we do not want to offend someone (a friend or a family member), we say yes. Whatever reason it is, what we do not remember is that when we eventually fail to fulfill our promise, we cause more pain to the supposed beneficiary of our yes. When we say yes, we make people prepare their minds and adjust their plans to accommodate our promise. When we fail, we destroy both our own reputation and the plans of the person we said yes to.
Looking at it from our own point of view, we say yes because we don’t want to be seen as a bad person. Trying to be a nice person at all times and to all people has exposed many of us to the dangers of becoming a pawn. That reminds me! Majority of the good we do are done to keep our names and image protected. Suffice it to say that they are for selfish reasons. Take for instance, when something goes wrong in a relationship you hear people say, “After everything I’ve done for him/her…” When we train our children in school and all of that, we do so because we want to be proud of them and we want them to be proud of us. We say yes to the boss to our own detriment because we want to remain in the good book and at the end of the day, we end up in a bad book as a result of failure to meet up eventually. No could be the best answer in some situations and such situations may include but not limited to: Continue reading
I never read about this in school but I stumbled on it while looking out for some emotional challenges people face in their daily lives. What is midlife crisis? According to Wikipedia, mid life crisis is briefly defined as a transition of identity and self-confidence that can occur in middle-aged individuals, typically from 45 years.
This article is meant to draw your attention to the existence of this psychological crisis so you’ll be able to prepare for it, reduce it, manage it when it comes (that’s if you’re still within the age of doing that) or so you’ll be able to manage it if you’re already caught up in it. Like every other phenomenon (scientific or otherwise), there are divergent views on whether mid life crisis exist or not. To me, it’s only a common sense that it does exist. Continue reading
I recently attended a seminar where Professor Chukwuma Soludo spoke extensively on time management and it occurred to me that I’ve not really been paying attention to the critical nature of time and its usage. We all hear and use quotes about time:
- Punctuality is the soul of business.
- Time is of essence.
- Time is like a cab; it keeps reading.
- If you lose one minute in the morning, you’ll spend the whole day looking for it.
- Early to bed, early to rise.
- He who does not rise early makes progress in nothing.
These are classic but common quotes on time but I’ll like us to look at time practically. Continue reading
Attitude simply means the way we think or feel about something especially a situation involving others. We often believe that our attitude is determined by the situation or the people involved in the situation but the truth is that our attitude towards anything or anybody is determined by us. Our level of indifference or commitment to the affairs of the groups we find ourselves determine our attitude to such groups. It could be our organization, our family, our community or our church. Negative attitude makes us see only what is wrong with a situation without trying to think about the flip-side. Negative attitude makes us see what is wrong with every policy in our organization. It renders us susceptible and vulnerable to both internal and external emotional attacks. With negative attitude to everything, no meaningful personal development can be achieved. The factors that can help us understand attitude and put our lives under proper check are: Continue reading
Sequel to our discussion on applying emotional intelligence, it’s important for us to look deeper into managing negative emotions. Negative emotions are such feelings that affect us adversely such as anger, depression, grief, etc. Some of these feelings emanate from within while others are caused by external influences. Whatever the source is, we often discover that things go a bit out of hand before we take notice of our inability to control situations. Apart from the general factors surrounding the application of emotional intelligence, we have some steps that can help us put individual emotions under control. Continue reading