Are you confused about the relationship you’re in? Do you have any doubts whether you’re made for each other? Are you afraid of break up either before or after the marriage?
Do you think there’s no sign of a diamond/gold ring being slipped into the vital finger in the nearest future? Our experts are here to share eight ways you can tell if your relationship will last a lifetime.
1. Is He/She Bold Enough to Challenge You?
Constantly butting heads could mean you’re headed for a breakup. But, if your partner is willing to kindly voice his or her views in order to challenge you to change yours, psychotherapist and relationship expert Rhonda Richards-Smith says you could be headed for marriage. “If your partner is comfortable enough with you to lovingly call you out privately when they feel you are wrong,” says Richards-Smith, “chances are you are in the right relationship.” Mark the word ‘lovingly’!
2. You Are Best of Friends/Cheer Leaders.
When you’re headed for marriage, says licensed marriage and family therapist Marissa Nelson, you’re committed to bringing out the best in your partner. “You encourage one another’s individual growth and give support to the pursuit of each other’s dreams and career aspirations,” she says. “If one of you succeeds, you both win, and that level of strength over time can be a telling sign that engagement is on the horizon.” Trying to invest your time, your knowledge and resources in each other’s future is a sign that you want to be part of that future.
3. You Are Open With Each Other.
Nelson says that the couples who stay together are the ones who can let loose with one another — doing things like wearing no makeup, without pretense. “Your partner sees you at your worst and best, and loves you unconditionally, flaws and all,” she says. “You take good care of one another and look out for your partner’s wellbeing with thoughtfulness, kindness, and compassion. It’s one the main qualities that let people know this person is the right one for them.” Being open makes you vulnerable to each other and as such vulnerability is also a sign that you’re meant for each other. There should be no secrets whatsoever.
4. Are You Accepted by His/Her Family? Many these days try to disregard the place of the larger family in their union. Well, there’s no much anyone can do about that especially in Africa. The Western World actually envy the communal life of African families. Therefore, when you marry a person, you also marry his or her family. So, “when things are getting serious in a relationship, you tend to place more weight in what your partner’s family thinks of you,” says Lori Salkin, matchmaker and dating coach. “I have noticed time and time again that right before couples get engaged, they spend more time with each other’s families — and their nerves run high as they hope for their approval or have to respond to disapproval or questions.”
5. You Trust Each Other Enough. Does he or she trust you enough even in a society with general trust issues? Can he/she release his debit or credit cards without fear of being duped? Does he /she monitor every of your movements?
Richards-Smith says, “There’s nothing worse than feeling smothered or obligated to track your partner’s every move.” By allowing your partner time to his or herself to enjoy his or her own hobbies or friends, you’re setting yourself up for a successful marriage. “If you are both able to trust each other enough to have your own time, space, and friends, chances are you’re on the right track,” Richards-Smiths.
6. You Are Always There for Each Other.
Knowing that you can lean on him/her, knowing that he/she is trusted enough to support you is a sure way of know you’re meant for each other. “Lean on Me” was a musical hit in part because its lyrics ring true. “Knowing your partner is there for you is vital to knowing that this relationship is for the long haul,” says Nelson. “If partners are always responsive through the ups and downs, and feel comfort that this person will go to bat for them no matter what, people feel safe enough to call that person their partner for life.”
7. Knowing That He/She is Imperfect as Human, But Perfect in Your Own Eyes.
“Having realistic expectations is very important to be able to get through that last mile and get engaged,” says Salkin. Rather than wonder if there is someone better, people who are headed for marriage focus on all the ways their partner is right for them. “There will always be someone more attractive, successful, and so on,” she shares. “But what’s important is to realize that you are not perfect and this other person may not be either — but together, you are perfect for each other.”
8. You Make Life-Decisions Together.
Until you tie the knot, you’re free to make your own decisions. But couples who include one another in the big ones are almost surely headed for marriage. They decide their type of homes, their type of cars, their preference for holidays and number of kids. Nelson says. “These partners plan for the future and think about making life decisions with the unit in mind,” she says. “They may devise a plan to pay down student loans and financial debt together, purchase a car in each other’s name, or buy a house together. They may have children or begin planning for that next phase in life. You know this relationship is forever because the couple is deeply committed in creating a future of which they can both be proud.”
9. They Are Quick to Resolve Differences.
Couples who will last for ever are always quick to put misunderstandings behind them. Their happiness depend on each other and as such do not allow their differences to last beyond the night unresolved.
…..curled from Love & Sex