It is no hidden fact that a woman’s earnest desire is to have the unfading, undivided and undying love of her man
One cannot underestimate the need for this love so much that at intervals, we want to be assured of the fact that no one or nothing has taken our place in his head. And to this end, we often pop the question, even when not necessary “Do you still love me?”
One thing we fail to realize is even though he is saddled with the Biblical responsibility of loving you unconditionally, as Christ loves the Church(Eph.5:33), he desires to be loved as much.
The only difference is that he perceives love from a different perspective.
To women, love might mean but not limited to the following:
- Listening to everything you have to say no matter how trival;
- Taking every problem seriously no matter how petty;
- Saying thank you and appreciating everything you do;
- Sharing his goals and values with you;
- Making you feel like the best woman on earth;
- Understanding your love language and generally loving you the way you want to be loved.
It is also important to note that man, by virtue of human nature, desperately needs to be loved in a certain way and that he calls “RESPECT”.
Respect can be described as a manner in which you treat or think about someone. It is a feeling of admiration for someone or something and sometimes elucidated by their qualities and abilities.
Respect is an attitude of reverence that communicates that you have confidence in your man as a person, in his abilities, ideas, strengths and can even help work on his weakness.
In fact, showing you believe in who he is and what he stands for is the basics of expressing love to him.
One of our strengths as women is, we have all it takes to keep our man. This is because asides from his desires and pursuit for power, money, fame, investments, properties and every other thing you might think a man is solely interested in, it will interest you to know he still feels incomplete and only the respect he gets from his woman does the magic, no matter how much of it he gets from his friends, colleagues, siblings, employees and surbordinates. Such reverence constitutes his motivation and driving force.
I would like to share a few tips on how to respect your man:
- Words of Affirmation:
Every human being wants to hear words of affirmation and praises from that special person in their lives. Therefore it is important to let him know how important he is to you and that spurs him to be the best.
Verbalize your respect for him by telling him things like how much you appreciate his waking up early, working five days or more a week, just to ensure he provides for the family. Yes he needs to hear it. If you can’t talk, send a mail, SMS, chat or even short notes or letters. This will go a long way.
- Submit to his leadership:
It is a Biblical injunction for women to submit to the authority of their husbands. It also states in 1st Cor.11:3 that the head of every man is Christ, the head of the woman is the man and the head of Christ is God.
Therefore, it is important to allow him to be the man who makes decisions whether or not the meet your approval.
He may not play his role as the head of the home perfectly, but how willing are you to submit to leadership without questioning his authority?
This doesn’t in any way suggest that one must submit to something illegal, wrong or evil because at the end of the day, your submission to God takes precedence over your submission to your man so that you both don’t end up like Ananias and Sapphira(Acts.5:7-11).
- Correct him in love:
Men can be very vulnerable in ways that are familiar to women. When a man makes a mistake whether a deliberate or an honest one, to start with, he feels less competent and his ego is threatened if not bruised amongst other things. So rubbing his deficiencies to his face is not necessary as it is sure to destroy what is left of his self esteem.
The best you can do is to probably ignore or better still cover up his flaws at that moment and later lovingly correct him and guide him as to how to handle such situations subsequently, and trust me, there is no sane man of earth who wouldn’t love a woman who forgives and loves his flaws.
- Be there for him:
This implies understanding his moods and seasons. Know when he is upset or worried about something and wants to talk about it but doesn’t know how to start.
Don’t forget that the alpha male and his ego will not let him present himself to you as a helpless being in need of help. But the truth is he wants all the attention he can get. He wants a listening ear and wants to be assured that everything is going to be okay.
Even in his down moments, when he seems no to be meeting up to his responsibilities as a man, husband and father, talk him out of depression and self-pity.
Let him know how much you respect his ideas and efforts he makes to live up to his responsibilities.\
Appreciate the little he provides. Show gratitude.
- Guard his Reputation:
Do not air your dirty laundry publicly. Don’t say things to tear your man down especially in the midst of his friends, colleagues or family. It only makes him feel less than a man.
The list goes on and on but the fact remains that to keep the score even in any relationship, a man doesn’t require anything but respect just as the woman desires to be loved. Infact, it does something to his soul. I guess God made him so. Once he recognizes your love for him and interpretes it as respect, you have all of him. To him you are an angel.
I am not ruling out the fact that men can be displeasing atimes and exhibit all kinds of unpleasant attitudes, such that you sometimes wonder what on earth made you get involved with such a person, let alone say “I do” you can’t but respect your man whether or not you think he is deserving of your respect or not so as to leave him in a lose lose situation as two wrongs never make a right.
If your relationship has not been fulfilling in the past months or years, I will indulge you to think back to the point where it lost its intimacy.
Please go back to the score board, realize where you missed and make amend as no time is ever too late. A wise woman builds her home but a foolish one tears hers down. Keep doing your best until I come back with loads and loads of what the woman really want from a man.