Climbing the Ladder of Greatness


The year has finally begun; it’s gonna be a very tough year. It’s not the usual hardship occasioned by the bustling and hustling of the city but an unprecedented form of hardship that’ll affect every single aspect of our lives-career, family and eveñ personal relationships. Everything is gonna be more difficult, prices of fuel and other commodities will go up. It’ll be more difficult to secure jobs and contracts. Anger and depression will rise resulting to more rancour in families and more tension in different offices. The struggle to make it will rise resulting to increase in population in the city, increase in crime and infrastructural deficit. Continue reading

When is no Better than yes? – Steve Obiakor.

Josh Billings once said:

Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough.

In the few years I’ve spent in this world I’ve got a lot of people say yes to me and their yes eventually turned out to be no. I’ve also said yes to many people but eventually could not fulfill my promise.  Why do people say yes when they should actually say no?  The common reason is that we all erroneously believe that saying yes is a sign of respect for someone who is older or who is in charge. We also believe that saying no could harm someone’s feelings and because we do not want to offend someone (a friend or a family member), we say yes.  Whatever reason it is, what we do not remember is that when we eventually fail to fulfill our promise, we cause more pain to the supposed beneficiary of our yes. When we say yes, we make people prepare their minds and adjust their plans to accommodate our promise. When we fail, we destroy both our own reputation and the plans of the person we said yes to.

 Looking at it from our own point of view, we say yes because we don’t want to be seen as a bad person. Trying to be a nice person at all times and to all people has exposed many of us to the dangers of becoming a pawn. That reminds me! Majority of the good we do are done to keep our names and image protected. Suffice it to say that they are for selfish reasons. Take for instance, when something goes wrong in a relationship you hear people say, “After everything I’ve done for him/her…” When we train our children in school and all of that, we do so because we want to be proud of them and we want them to be proud of us.  We say yes to the boss to our own detriment because we want to remain in the good book and at the end of the day, we end up in a bad book as a result of failure to meet up eventually. No could be the best answer in some situations and such situations may include but not limited to: Continue reading

Midlife Crises! What’s that?-Steve Obiakor


I never read about this in school but I stumbled on it while looking out for some emotional challenges people face in their daily lives. What is midlife crisis? According to Wikipedia, mid life crisis is briefly defined as a transition of identity and self-confidence that can occur in middle-aged individuals, typically from 45 years.

This article is meant to draw your attention to the existence of this psychological crisis so you’ll be able to prepare for it, reduce it, manage it when it comes (that’s if you’re still within the age of doing that) or so you’ll be able to manage it if you’re already caught up in it. Like every other phenomenon (scientific or otherwise), there are divergent views on whether mid life crisis exist or not. To me, it’s only a common sense that it does exist. Continue reading

How Do We Spend Our 24 Hours? –Steve Obiakor


I recently attended a seminar where Professor Chukwuma Soludo spoke extensively on time management and it occurred to me that I’ve not really been paying attention to the critical nature of time and its usage. We all hear and use quotes about time:

  • Punctuality is the soul of business.
  • Time is of essence.
  • Time is like a cab; it keeps reading.
  • If you lose one minute in the morning, you’ll spend the whole day looking for it.
  • Early to bed, early to rise.
  • He who does not rise early makes progress in nothing.

These are classic but common quotes on time but I’ll like us to look at time practically. Continue reading

Developing a Positive Attitude -Steve Obiakor

positive attitude reminder

Attitude simply means the way we think or feel about something especially a situation involving others.  We often believe that our attitude is determined by the situation or the people involved in the situation but the truth is that our attitude towards anything or anybody is determined by us. Our level of indifference or commitment to the affairs of the groups we find ourselves determine our attitude to such groups.  It could be our organization, our family, our community or our church.  Negative attitude makes us see only what is wrong with a situation without trying to think about the flip-side.  Negative attitude makes us see what is wrong with every policy in our organization.  It renders us susceptible and vulnerable to both internal and external emotional attacks.  With negative attitude to everything, no meaningful personal development can be achieved.  The factors that can help us understand attitude and put our lives under proper check are: Continue reading

Managing Negative Emotions-Steve Obiakor


Sequel to our discussion on applying emotional intelligence, it’s important for us to look deeper into managing negative emotions. Negative emotions are such feelings that affect us adversely such as anger, depression, grief, etc.  Some of these feelings emanate from within while others are caused by external influences. Whatever the source is, we often discover that things go a bit out of hand before we take notice of our inability to control situations. Apart from the general factors surrounding the application of emotional intelligence, we have some steps that can help us put individual emotions under control. Continue reading

How Well Do We Apply Emotional Intelligence?-Steve Obiakor


Most of our daily actions emanate from what we feel at the moment. There is always this battle between reason and feeling. Sometimes we are heavily controlled by emotions that our actions work against our sense of reasoning in the end. At other times, we are conscious of the fact that these actions are against our reasoning but we tend to appear helpless. We need to pay attention to managing emotions effectively because feelings   are capable of igniting actions that ruin relationships at all levels. The same way we pay attention to our health, spend money on our education and other basic needs, that same way we must pay attention to our Emotional Intelligence. What is Emotional Intelligence? It is the ability to recognize and understand emotions of ourselves and others and the ability to apply this awareness in managing our behaviours in dealing with others and in relationships. It is about how well we resolve (or create) conflict, manage anger, deal with adversity, and shake off bad moods. It is more about managing negative emotions and bad moods. Dr Hendrie Weisinger identified five key factors that control emotional intelligence. These factors are capable of helping us to apply our emotional intelligence when the need arises. Continue reading

Who is an Educated Person?- Steve Obiakor


This article is an extract from a topic “Creating Value” which I presented in a forum. Here we looked at different ways an individual can create value for himself and education was a credible pointer to creating value. But, who is really an educated person? Before we looked at education, we talked about creating intellectual value. In this context, intellectual value is seen as the ability to think through a situation and come up with a decision that could stand the test of time. Below are the excerpts from the discussion.

Speaking from the lay point Continue reading

Four Most Dangerous Enemies of Progress: Steve Obiakor


We have been dwelling on success and how to achieve it irrespective of what success means to you. We have identified several routes and the challenges peculiar to them as well as how to meet these challenges. More often than not, we see people identifying others as their enemies of progress. Whilst we continue to preach that success is a result of self-driven proactive attitude rather than what we think of others, this article looks at four most prominent enemies of progress. Continue reading