Midlife Crises! What’s that?-Steve Obiakor


I never read about this in school but I stumbled on it while looking out for some emotional challenges people face in their daily lives. What is midlife crisis? According to Wikipedia, mid life crisis is briefly defined as a transition of identity and self-confidence that can occur in middle-aged individuals, typically from 45 years.

This article is meant to draw your attention to the existence of this psychological crisis so you’ll be able to prepare for it, reduce it, manage it when it comes (that’s if you’re still within the age of doing that) or so you’ll be able to manage it if you’re already caught up in it. Like every other phenomenon (scientific or otherwise), there are divergent views on whether mid life crisis exist or not. To me, it’s only a common sense that it does exist. Continue reading

How Do We Spend Our 24 Hours? –Steve Obiakor


I recently attended a seminar where Professor Chukwuma Soludo spoke extensively on time management and it occurred to me that I’ve not really been paying attention to the critical nature of time and its usage. We all hear and use quotes about time:

  • Punctuality is the soul of business.
  • Time is of essence.
  • Time is like a cab; it keeps reading.
  • If you lose one minute in the morning, you’ll spend the whole day looking for it.
  • Early to bed, early to rise.
  • He who does not rise early makes progress in nothing.

These are classic but common quotes on time but I’ll like us to look at time practically. Continue reading

Developing a Positive Attitude -Steve Obiakor

positive attitude reminder

Attitude simply means the way we think or feel about something especially a situation involving others.  We often believe that our attitude is determined by the situation or the people involved in the situation but the truth is that our attitude towards anything or anybody is determined by us. Our level of indifference or commitment to the affairs of the groups we find ourselves determine our attitude to such groups.  It could be our organization, our family, our community or our church.  Negative attitude makes us see only what is wrong with a situation without trying to think about the flip-side.  Negative attitude makes us see what is wrong with every policy in our organization.  It renders us susceptible and vulnerable to both internal and external emotional attacks.  With negative attitude to everything, no meaningful personal development can be achieved.  The factors that can help us understand attitude and put our lives under proper check are: Continue reading

Managing Negative Emotions-Steve Obiakor


Sequel to our discussion on applying emotional intelligence, it’s important for us to look deeper into managing negative emotions. Negative emotions are such feelings that affect us adversely such as anger, depression, grief, etc.  Some of these feelings emanate from within while others are caused by external influences. Whatever the source is, we often discover that things go a bit out of hand before we take notice of our inability to control situations. Apart from the general factors surrounding the application of emotional intelligence, we have some steps that can help us put individual emotions under control. Continue reading

How to Convert a Relationship to Marriage-Steve Obiakor


I have noticed that a lot of young people, women most especially are just interested in getting married. Well, women most especially because it is believed that a woman needs to marry at an earlier age than a man. In fact, there was a time family members used to chastise men who get married before the age of 35. Nobody raises an eyebrow for a 38 year old man who is single but very few women get to that age and still have peace of mind both within themselves and with those around her. Therefore, it is not out of place for a young woman to desire to get married early enough. There are many advantages attached to getting married early but that’s not our topic for today.

Many young men and women get into relationships, mismanage it and get out of it and give different reasons and excuses why it didn’t work. One of such excuses is that there are many men but few husbands; there are many women but few wives. While I do not advocate jumping into marriage, I’ve also come to Continue reading

How Well Do We Apply Emotional Intelligence?-Steve Obiakor


Most of our daily actions emanate from what we feel at the moment. There is always this battle between reason and feeling. Sometimes we are heavily controlled by emotions that our actions work against our sense of reasoning in the end. At other times, we are conscious of the fact that these actions are against our reasoning but we tend to appear helpless. We need to pay attention to managing emotions effectively because feelings   are capable of igniting actions that ruin relationships at all levels. The same way we pay attention to our health, spend money on our education and other basic needs, that same way we must pay attention to our Emotional Intelligence. What is Emotional Intelligence? It is the ability to recognize and understand emotions of ourselves and others and the ability to apply this awareness in managing our behaviours in dealing with others and in relationships. It is about how well we resolve (or create) conflict, manage anger, deal with adversity, and shake off bad moods. It is more about managing negative emotions and bad moods. Dr Hendrie Weisinger identified five key factors that control emotional intelligence. These factors are capable of helping us to apply our emotional intelligence when the need arises. Continue reading

10 Reasons Couples Fight Over Money-Steve Obiakor


Financial conflict in marriage is a common phenomenon all over the world. Some of the issues arise from the fact that what the family is making is not enough to cater for the family needs. Others, though they have enough  issues with managing their income as a family. Many marriages have hit the rock on account of this while others are holding on for the sake of religious beliefs or their children. There are still many families out there who get it probably not so right but are able to manage the situation to an acceptable level. Let us look at some causes of financial crises in marriages and their plausible solutions.  Continue reading