How to Convert a Relationship to Marriage-Steve Obiakor


I have noticed that a lot of young people, women most especially are just interested in getting married. Well, women most especially because it is believed that a woman needs to marry at an earlier age than a man. In fact, there was a time family members used to chastise men who get married before the age of 35. Nobody raises an eyebrow for a 38 year old man who is single but very few women get to that age and still have peace of mind both within themselves and with those around her. Therefore, it is not out of place for a young woman to desire to get married early enough. There are many advantages attached to getting married early but that’s not our topic for today.

Many young men and women get into relationships, mismanage it and get out of it and give different reasons and excuses why it didn’t work. One of such excuses is that there are many men but few husbands; there are many women but few wives. While I do not advocate jumping into marriage, I’ve also come to Continue reading

How Well Do We Apply Emotional Intelligence?-Steve Obiakor


Most of our daily actions emanate from what we feel at the moment. There is always this battle between reason and feeling. Sometimes we are heavily controlled by emotions that our actions work against our sense of reasoning in the end. At other times, we are conscious of the fact that these actions are against our reasoning but we tend to appear helpless. We need to pay attention to managing emotions effectively because feelings   are capable of igniting actions that ruin relationships at all levels. The same way we pay attention to our health, spend money on our education and other basic needs, that same way we must pay attention to our Emotional Intelligence. What is Emotional Intelligence? It is the ability to recognize and understand emotions of ourselves and others and the ability to apply this awareness in managing our behaviours in dealing with others and in relationships. It is about how well we resolve (or create) conflict, manage anger, deal with adversity, and shake off bad moods. It is more about managing negative emotions and bad moods. Dr Hendrie Weisinger identified five key factors that control emotional intelligence. These factors are capable of helping us to apply our emotional intelligence when the need arises. Continue reading

10 Reasons Couples Fight Over Money-Steve Obiakor


Financial conflict in marriage is a common phenomenon all over the world. Some of the issues arise from the fact that what the family is making is not enough to cater for the family needs. Others, though they have enough  issues with managing their income as a family. Many marriages have hit the rock on account of this while others are holding on for the sake of religious beliefs or their children. There are still many families out there who get it probably not so right but are able to manage the situation to an acceptable level. Let us look at some causes of financial crises in marriages and their plausible solutions.  Continue reading

Great Teachings About Love…. Steve Obiakor

love ppics

To love someone is like discovering a seed. The seed must be planted, watered and nurtured till it bears fruits. The seed may die before it germinates,; it might be pierced by thorns; it might be destroyed by unfavourable environment. But even in the midst of the ups and downs of life, some seeds germinate, grow and bear fruits. Only when two individuals acknowledge their imperfections that they can attain perfect love. Love is like two edged sword; it brings joy, it brings pain, it brings hope; yet it breeds fear. Love causes you to screw things up. Don’t worry, we all mess up for love! Your true lover is the one that opens your eyes to see your weaknesses. Be ready to see them and a knowledge them. Your heart will always be broken; but you must love again!

Below are teachings from great minds. Read on! Continue reading

Who is an Educated Person?- Steve Obiakor


This article is an extract from a topic “Creating Value” which I presented in a forum. Here we looked at different ways an individual can create value for himself and education was a credible pointer to creating value. But, who is really an educated person? Before we looked at education, we talked about creating intellectual value. In this context, intellectual value is seen as the ability to think through a situation and come up with a decision that could stand the test of time. Below are the excerpts from the discussion.

Speaking from the lay point Continue reading

What Does A Woman Want?-Nneka Orieke.


Having written on what men want, (addressing the man’s need first, because when a man’s need is met, the woman is rest assured of having all she needs), it is time to open the container of the woman’s need.

Right from time immemorial, even though it’s more common in this generation, there has always been this misconception about the nature of women, their needs and desires, so much that we always conclude that they are the most difficult beings to please or deal with, hmm! Continue reading

Four Most Dangerous Enemies of Progress: Steve Obiakor


We have been dwelling on success and how to achieve it irrespective of what success means to you. We have identified several routes and the challenges peculiar to them as well as how to meet these challenges. More often than not, we see people identifying others as their enemies of progress. Whilst we continue to preach that success is a result of self-driven proactive attitude rather than what we think of others, this article looks at four most prominent enemies of progress. Continue reading

10 Things That Destroy True Love –Steve Obiakor

true love

I have come to understand that setbacks could be caused more by our actions and inactions (that is, the things we do and the things we fail to do) than external influences. We are in an era where marriages are crashing left right and center; relationships are breaking up and singles are afraid to get married. So many singles now find it difficult to be committed in any relationship. Marriage as an institution has become one of the most dysfunctional institutions in the world. A lot of marriages these days hinge their existence and survival on the children; some are holding on because of religious and cultural beliefs; others are just there believing that life itself has not been fair; so, why should marriage be beautiful. Marriage can actually be beautiful. Continue reading

What is Your Source of Influence? (Part 2)-Steve Obiakor


Sequel to our previous discussion on the above topic let us continue by looking at the remaining five centers of influence to our attitudes and behaviors which include: work, church, enmity, material possessions and pleasure.  If you were not able to read that, please look at the previous posts on this blog. That will enable you re-enact the previous discussion before continuing with this. Continue reading